I hear a thousand questions a day and so many times I use "mom answers". Answers that let my children know that they are good decision makers while still trying to keep control over a house full of children. For example yesterday I heard these questions. "Can we go to the fair?" "Not right now but soon it will be summer and we will go then." "Can I dip my chocolate bar in some chocolate milk?" "No, but you can choose to have one or the other" and "Can I make my own lunch?" "Sure, but I get to pick the ingredients." But their are some questions that have no option but to be answer with a straight forward yes or no and we recently were faced with the most famous child question of them all..."Can I keep it?"
When I was little I brought home every creature I saw asked my mom and dad this very question. I can remember bringing home lady bugs, caterpillars, crayfish, and every stray dog or cat in the neighborhood. I was determined that one day one of these sweet flee bags would become my own and I remember how sad I felt every time I heard the answer "No". Often times my parents would give me a bowl of water to give the animal outside, but this just wasn't the same as getting to keep them.
So the other day when Trent brought a tiny turtle into the house and said "Can I keep it?" the child in me wanted to scream out "YES!!!" Finally, I was in control of the situation and I had the ability to keep this little pet, BUT...then the adult in me said "what type of turtle is it? can it live inside? what would we feed it? where would it live? do we need another pet?" So, Nate went to the Internet, to find out all about our little turtle (who Trent promptly named Trainy). What we found out was that if we kept the turtle it was going to need a lot of work, space, and that he carried a lot of germs. So now I had to answer Trent's question. Not with "maybe later", or "we'll see" but with a straight forward "No". I was so sad as Trent and I walked our turtle over to the neighbors pond and put him in...but when we got back home is when my heart all but broke. Trent cried, hard, eyes full of tears, sobbing on the floor and I understood exactly what he felt. I remember feeling those exact feelings as a child. I held him and told him it would be okay, that we would visit Trainy at the pond and that he would be happier and live a lot longer, but nothing I said matter, he just need time to let his feelings out. It has been a few weeks now and he hasn't forgot his turtle but has definitely moved on. I know we made the right decision, not the easy decision, but the right one.
When I was little I brought home every creature I saw asked my mom and dad this very question. I can remember bringing home lady bugs, caterpillars, crayfish, and every stray dog or cat in the neighborhood. I was determined that one day one of these sweet flee bags would become my own and I remember how sad I felt every time I heard the answer "No". Often times my parents would give me a bowl of water to give the animal outside, but this just wasn't the same as getting to keep them.
So the other day when Trent brought a tiny turtle into the house and said "Can I keep it?" the child in me wanted to scream out "YES!!!" Finally, I was in control of the situation and I had the ability to keep this little pet, BUT...then the adult in me said "what type of turtle is it? can it live inside? what would we feed it? where would it live? do we need another pet?" So, Nate went to the Internet, to find out all about our little turtle (who Trent promptly named Trainy). What we found out was that if we kept the turtle it was going to need a lot of work, space, and that he carried a lot of germs. So now I had to answer Trent's question. Not with "maybe later", or "we'll see" but with a straight forward "No". I was so sad as Trent and I walked our turtle over to the neighbors pond and put him in...but when we got back home is when my heart all but broke. Trent cried, hard, eyes full of tears, sobbing on the floor and I understood exactly what he felt. I remember feeling those exact feelings as a child. I held him and told him it would be okay, that we would visit Trainy at the pond and that he would be happier and live a lot longer, but nothing I said matter, he just need time to let his feelings out. It has been a few weeks now and he hasn't forgot his turtle but has definitely moved on. I know we made the right decision, not the easy decision, but the right one.
