Being a mom of boys has taught me a lot. They teach me how to play video games, about snakes, dinosaurs, endless dirt and feet that never stop growing and stomachs that are never full, but most of all they have taught me how wonderful it is to be their mom. There is so much I want to teach them.
I want them to know that:
When I look at them I see my heart. When they hurt I hurt and when they smile I smile. They have taught me that my heart and my capacity to love is not fixed, it grows and grows and grows, just like they do.
I don't mind if you pick the pink ball, if you want to play house with your sister, hate sports or dirt. I want you to feel confident enough in yourself to go for what you want and love. I hate the boy stereotype. So choose what you want and just know that I am happy with you being you.
Please realize we have plenty of storage (and tissues) in our home and nothing (not crayons, toys, fingers, etc) belongs up your nose.
Create. Keep drawing, making comics, building with legos and using your wonderful imagination. You are amazing and I love to see you express your individuality, even when it makes a mess.
Enjoy the outdoors. There is so much to love in nature. Get outside and enjoy yourself. Run, jump, bike, dig whatever you do just get out there and get some sunshine. It has the power to make you feel better about life every time you take a breath.
There is nothing wrong with asking for directions. Just because you are a man, doesn't mean you should know everything. Take time to learn more and more every day.
No public service announcements need to be made when the bathroom smells, just turn on the fan and leave the room.
Don't back down. If you believe it with all your heart and soul, stand up for it, even when you feel nervous.
A little cologne goes a long way.
Laugh as often as you can and keep company with those who laugh with you.
You are the best you, there could ever be. There is a competitive nature out there that says that you have to be faster, quicker, smarter, stronger then your friends. Ignore it. Everyone....EVERYONE...learns and grows in different ways. Give your best at all times and I will always be proud to be your mom.
Wearing no shoes outside in the summer is always okay with me.
Don't judge a book by its cover. Please don't assume you know someone based on a label society has given them. Make a real effort to get to know who they are and accept them as is. You will learn way more from people who are different from you than the ones who are the same. There is value in the differences of people and I hope this is something you always hold as an important part of your character in your life.
Climb a tree as high as you can and look out over your world.
When you feel like giving up...keep going. You have the power to do amazing things but obstacles will come along that will make you think it is impossible. When you feel stuck keep moving, even if all you can do is crawl. The days when the work is the hardest will be the days you gain the most. Keep going and know that I am cheering you on.
Don't be scared to try something new. It may be the best thing you ever did, or you may hate it, but at least then you will never have to wonder "what if".
Write the people you love letters, call them and tell them how you feel, and show them every chance you can. Showing your love is needed by others, even when you think "they should already know" and it will make your heart feel good too.
You don't have to like or hate something just because everyone else does.
It's okay to cry. In fact, it is a great thing! Shed happy, sad, scared or any tears. Please be real, show your emotions, don't hide them but let us know what you are feeling. I love you and want you to share your heart and so will that special someone who will be in your life. Make your needs known because no one is a mind reader.
When you apologize don't use the word but.
Video games, phones, and televisions are fun (I won't lie) but don't forget that spending time with real live people is the best part of life. So turn it off and go connect!
When you have someone special, treat them that way. Don't let time or distractions make you give anything less than your best to the ones you love.
Everyone makes mistakes, just make sure you learn from them.
Be a gentleman. Manors will never be old-fashioned or out of style, they will always show that you respect others and because of that, others will respect you.
Take risks. Crazy ones that make your heart race and let you feel alive. Just remember that some decisions are important enough to sleep on.
Pay attention to how your dates treat their family and waitstaff, both are a great indication of how they will treat you over time.
Never forget your spouse's birthday or anniversary. Big gifts are not needed, but heartfelt ones are.
Be proud of who YOU are and compare yourself to no one. You are an amazing person, know it, believe it and show it. People will constantly try to define you and change you. They will want you to be like them, but the great thing is, is that you don't have to. You are a unique, precious gift to this world and being anyone else is depriving us all of the wonder that is you. So, let go of people pleasing, let go of the need to be like everyone else and be you. Whoever that is, however, that changes, be you.
Enjoy your carefree life in your twenties, but don't make your 30 something self have to pay for the party with a whole bunch of debt. Live life within your means and you will have a more full and happy life.
It is okay to laugh about farting. Yes, I have to be the mom and tell you to stop now, but you one day will learn the right setting for these jokes (hopefully, not at the dinner table) and you will still laugh until your stomach hurts and I will still try to turn my head so you don't catch me giggling at your giggles.
When someone experiences something horrible or even just has a really bad day. Don't always try to fix it or offer wisdom, just say "I'm sorry" and let them talk or cry.
Fight for only what is worth it. Don't be the man who yells that remote is missing or because he was given the wrong meal in a restaurant. Life is full of moments where you might feel like losing it, but learn how to breathe when you want to yell. I want you to discover the fights worth fighting. I want you to get angry about slavery. I want you to rise up for the poor. I want you to shout for the voiceless victims and I want you to say "no problem" when someone takes your parking space.
Always call if you are going to be late. The person waiting wants to know that you are safe and that you value their time.
There will always be people who have more than you but there are also people who have less. Be thankful for your situation and be willing to help others.
Don't buy cheap garbage bags, underwear or toilet paper. You know why.
Be a brother. Be a friend. Be a protector. Your relationship with your brother and sister has always been extremely close and special. I hope you never let anything get in the way of that.
Pick your friends wisely. Your friends will help determine where you go and how you act. They will influence what you think is good and what you treat as funny. I do not want your friends to choose you. I do not want you to just hang out with the first person who is nice to you. I want you to surround yourself with people who are headed where you want to go and treat you how you should be treated.
Enjoy music and art. Listen, play, create. Take it all in from the old to the new and enjoy one of life's best gifts.
Speak in truth. It will not always be easy at times, but life will be only harder if you don't. When you offer anyone a loving truth, they (and you) are better for it. This, however, does not mean you need to go up to the next person you see and point out that their shirt is ugly. Loving truth at all times and knowing when to say nothing at all will get you far in life.
Being mean is never funny.
Don't be afraid to dance. The only thing you have to know is that you are having a good time.
Shake hands firmly and with confidence. Speaking of confidence...always show it even when it is hard. Have a quiet confidence in yourself that will speak much more loudly then the annoying cocky guy who never stops bragging.
Help others. Your neighbor, the women you don't know in the store, the orphanage across the world. Anyone and everyone. Give of yourself at all times and you will always get far more than you gave.
You live in an amazing country. Be thankful, have pride and vote.
You do chores as a child because I think it is important skills for you to have. You are learning how to clean your room, take out the trash, help with laundry and cook. Don't forget these things simply because you are married. Be a team player and your spouse will thank me and your relationship will be much easier.
Always offer to help clean up after dinner, even if every time you offered before they said "no thanks".
Find your passion. You love things (trains, basketball, games, superheroes, etc) at this age, and what you love is what you spend your time doing. I hope that holds true when you get older. Keep looking, searching, growing and enjoying your life by doing everything you are passionate about as often as you can.
Girls are not beautiful because of what they look like, but because of who they are.
I will always come pick you up - no matter what time it is, no matter where you are, no matter what you have been doing. However, if it is jail I may make you sit for awhile to think about what you did. This is out of love, I promise.
Trust your gut. If you have to talk yourself into something, it is probably not the right decision for you.
Some days are bad. Eat something delicious, get sunshine, listen to music, talk to friend and family and remember tomorrow is a brand new day full of possibilities.
Take the Road Less Traveled. I hope you always try to make the right choices, not the easiest ones. Have the courage to lead, not follow. And to dream bigger than most others think is possible.
Wherever you are in life, you can always come home. I will be here and I will love you. Always.
This post is similar to the list I did for my little lady a long time ago. And like that list, a lot of items apply to all of my kiddos and I hope to keep adding to this one over time as well. There is so much I hope they learn, but not near as much as what they have taught me about life.
