On rough days our family shares food and feelings. It is a tradition our kids know well...they know that one plate means it is their time to share anything (and I have heard some doozies!) and a guarantee of nothing but support from those around them. It started years ago after the tornado. Trent was acting out and so mad at everyone and everything. I literally didn't know what to do. So one night, just him and I snuck down from our hotel room and bought a bag of peanut M&M from the vending machine. We sat outside and I told him to explain why he was so mad. At first, he had very little to say but instead of me talking I just waited and then the tears started rolling. He told me that he was mad that he didn't have any scissors, he was mad that the pillow in the hotel wasn't soft, he was mad he had to share a room, he was sad that we didn't have his Dinosaur book, he was sad that our bunnies were gone, he was sad that our flowers died, he was mad that the pepper wasn't the grinding kind....and at that he laughed. We went on to talk about the reasons why living in a hotel wasn't so bad and by the end, we had finished our snack together and we were smiling again. I learned so much about being a mom at that moment. Sometimes the reason kids are upset (or happy!) means nothing to us but everything to them. While dismissing it seems so easy, really all they are looking for is someone to support them. Someone to agree that the pillows are way to hard, to bring the Dinosaur book to the hotel that you didn't realize meant so much, to take them to the store for brand new scissors and most of all to let them vent while you just sit and listen. Because while it may all just be "kid stuff", understanding it isn't the important part, being there is.
