I love Christmas time...I love the snow on the ground, the happy carols, the lights outside, the warm smells in my home, the decorations on the tree, the bigger smiles, and friendly faces, and spending extra time with friends and family. There are a million things that I love about Christmas.
But yesterday I hated the holiday season!
Last night Nate and I sat down to figure out exactly what we were buying for Christmas gifts. We already had our preliminary list, but we wanted to finish it up. We sat there, talking it over, looking on the internet, pricing things out, adding up the numbers... We gave up. We went to our bedroom frustrated. No matter how much we want to, we can not buy everything for everyone, at least not without being way too excessive.
We sat on our bed and came up with a much more reasonable number that we could spend and still feel comfortable in our budget. I never have been one for competition...in fact, I am the exact opposite. Someone dares me to do something and that will just guarantee that I won't do it. Unless it is a friendly game of cards...I just don't try to compete. I do not feel that I need to prove myself. But somehow, in the midst of listening to moms tell me how much they bought for their children or how much others have spent on our children, I got lost in the numbers. Lost in the Timmy has twenty gifts so Trent needs at least 21. Once Nate and I came up with a plan I was ashamed to realize what I was thinking. I was lost in greed. The greed of wanting to give the most and be the best......I was one of those people doing nothing more than being in the "holiday season".
So today I am back to celebrating Christmas. Back to remembering what this season is truly about. Giving Christmas gifts has nothing to do with a dollar sign and everything to do with the heart that gives them. I do not want to be one of those people who can't find a way to show someone they care about them except through gifts. That is not me and I hope it never will be. So today Trent and I are looking through his old toys, choosing what we can give away to charity, and instead of being lost in what I can not buy, I am amazed by how much we have. We are truly blessed so far beyond all the millions of things we can buy in a store.
But yesterday I hated the holiday season!
Last night Nate and I sat down to figure out exactly what we were buying for Christmas gifts. We already had our preliminary list, but we wanted to finish it up. We sat there, talking it over, looking on the internet, pricing things out, adding up the numbers... We gave up. We went to our bedroom frustrated. No matter how much we want to, we can not buy everything for everyone, at least not without being way too excessive.
We sat on our bed and came up with a much more reasonable number that we could spend and still feel comfortable in our budget. I never have been one for competition...in fact, I am the exact opposite. Someone dares me to do something and that will just guarantee that I won't do it. Unless it is a friendly game of cards...I just don't try to compete. I do not feel that I need to prove myself. But somehow, in the midst of listening to moms tell me how much they bought for their children or how much others have spent on our children, I got lost in the numbers. Lost in the Timmy has twenty gifts so Trent needs at least 21. Once Nate and I came up with a plan I was ashamed to realize what I was thinking. I was lost in greed. The greed of wanting to give the most and be the best......I was one of those people doing nothing more than being in the "holiday season".
So today I am back to celebrating Christmas. Back to remembering what this season is truly about. Giving Christmas gifts has nothing to do with a dollar sign and everything to do with the heart that gives them. I do not want to be one of those people who can't find a way to show someone they care about them except through gifts. That is not me and I hope it never will be. So today Trent and I are looking through his old toys, choosing what we can give away to charity, and instead of being lost in what I can not buy, I am amazed by how much we have. We are truly blessed so far beyond all the millions of things we can buy in a store.
