Wish I Was There

Living in IL has become much easier over the years. I know my way around, I have friends here and I am settled and very happy in our home. But there are times when the distance, from New Hampshire to Illinois, can cause me so much pain. It is always worse when a new member of our family has just been born and I want to meet them, or someone is sick and I can't visit with them. The last few months has been filled with all of those things, many times over. I always react with action to any situation, but when you are over a thousand miles away it limits what you can do. I wanted to go kiss and hold, my new nieces, Aubrey and Lillia. I wanted to make meals for my sisters to ease the transition of adding a new member to their family. I wanted to visit with my aunts while they were in the hospital. I wanted to sit with (and hug) my cousin while she talked about all that is going on with her parent's illnesses. I simply wanted to be there for the good and the bad with everyone. The things I would do if I was in NH would not be very significant, but it would help me to show everyone just how much I care. It has been hard to be so far away from it all. I luckily have three wonderful children who can make me smile no matter what is going on and the world's best husband (if you thought you got him, you are wrong, I did!) who has been very understanding of what I am feeling. And, although I am not a crier, Nate did hold me as all of my hidden emotions over the months finally boiled over. I am so thankful for the friends and family that I have here and I love my life in Illinois, but that does not change the way I feel for those back in New Hampshire too. Distance just has made it harder for me to show them all how much I care. So no matter if your news has been good or bad over the last few months, just know that I wish I could have been there for it. I miss you all more then my words could ever express. These four people believe that I hold our house together, but the truth is that with out them I would fall apart. We are a family, each of us supporting each other through everything. I am thankful for the happiness that pours out of them, it keeps me smiling and loving my life everyday.